To God be the glory...always

I am in there somewhere!

" The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

John 10:10

Through the study of the book of John with BSF this year, I have been captured by Jesus.  I have come to understand the beauty that comes from clinging to Jesus & enjoying a more deep, intimate relationship with Him.  Through our study, and specifically the example the disciples exemplified in chapter 21 of John, I have "let my nets down" to more closely "follow Jesus."  I am beginning to more fully understand & walk in the ways of having "life to the full" and have been inspired to deepen my "passionate devotion for Jesus" which is all that "qualifies me for service to God."  (our Teaching Leader's words, not mine)

 As I have shared in recent posts, this last year has been quite a challenging one as I have struggled with recovering from adrenal fatigue.  Last summer and into the fall, the symptoms of debilitating physical exhaustion, increased heart palpitations, headaches, abdominal discomfort, loss of hair, difficulty falling or staying asleep, & depression were all very real struggles.  It took a while for doctors to mention anything about adrenal fatigue, & it was only after all other testing had been completed and come back with (praise!) me being in supreme health.

Looking adrenal fatigue in the face takes a great deal of courage...one I knew I could not muster on my own.  Healing & recovery doesn't come from being prescribed medicine.  It comes from taking stock of one's life, digging deep to re-prioritize how one is living in order for the adrenals (& overall body systems, as adrenals are linked closely with effective workings of the thyroid, as well as digestive system) to aptly heal.  It took changing my diet, pulling back from beloved commitments (and making necessary sacrifices), eliminating long-distance running (a passion), giving myself permission to nap, and striving to reduce the stress load in my life.  Needless to say, I also had to come to terms with understanding the ways I managed stress and learn better ways for handling it.  This has been the most difficult of them all, as we never know from one day to the next what stress a 24-hour period can hold.  

Through the study of John, I have truly come to understand how "Jesus is the prescription for heart trouble and the only One who has the right words for troubled hearts."  (once again, a treasured principle from our teaching leader).  In John 14:1-7, we witness Jesus telling His disciples how troube in our hearts is a choice to believe in God.  We have a choice to turn our eyes on the circumstance or turn our eyes on Jesus.

I have chosen to turn my heart and eyes on Jesus, living out the truth of how "comfort in our troubled lives come from knowing Jesus."  He has been a comfort to me every step of the way through this health challenge.  He has never let me go.  Adrenal fatigue has actually been a true blessing in that it has forced me to step back, re-prioritize, and truly put Jesus at the center of my life (in a way that I can honestly share I am guilty of never having done before...pride and self-reliency are brutal sin companions that I daily seek to surrender to Him!)

Day by day, I am striving to live out the "seeking of His kingdom first" (Matthew 6:33)  May these truths be an encouragement to others and reminders to me of how to find life to the full...in Jesus Christ our Savior. 

To God be the glory! 

Sustaining Joy

View from my journaling spot...Twin Owls trail, Oct 2016

"You make known to me the path of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

Psalm 16:11

"Life is short, I want to live it well...

and You are the One I am living for..."

 

"Take the burden from my arms
Take the anchors off my lungs
Take me broken
And make me one
Break the silence and make it a song

Life is short I want to live it well
One life, one story to tell
Life is short I want to live it well
And you’re the one I’m living for
Awaken, oh my soul!
Every breath that you take is a miracle
Life is short I want to live it well...

I got one life
And one love
I got one voice
But maybe that’s enough
’Cause with one heartbeat
And two hands to give
I got one shot
One life to live"

Switchfoot, "Live it Well"
from album Where the Light Shines Through

#Sustaining Joy

Born out of a season of personal challenge, brokenness, loneliness, difficulty, pain, and quite possibly (& simply) a mid-life unraveling ...I am choosing to cling to Him, His promises, and His everlasting joy as I travel through this latest life adversity.  Beginning to see these latest health-issues and struggle for find energy on any given day, I am discovering and witnessing the Lord's hand in it all.  He is drawing me near.  I am choosing to embrace this spiritual awakening I see His extended hand inviting me toward.

 For I know that He loves me, I am His Beloved, and He is FOR me, not against me, and that there is joy found in His presence.  He longs for me to have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10)...and with that, He longs for my heart to shine JOY.

As Christians, these are promises we can each claim.  As Christians, I think each of us struggle with the ability to claim and choose JOY on a daily basis.  I certainly know I do.  Life is hard.  Life is a struggle.  Life is filled with grief, burdens, and challenges.  But, we do have a choice...and I am striving to choose JOY.  I am striving to shift my gaze and perspective from the burden/challenge to claiming Jesus, His love, His grace, and uncover the joy that is walking through life with Him.

So, #SustainingJoy is born...God's Word tells us to encourage one another and build the other up (1 Thess 5:11), it tells us to enter His gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise (Ps 100:4), giving thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thess 5:18).  

In these verses, I see the opportunity to encourage a paradigm shift and renewed thinking of my mind & heart.  I see a love challenge and an opportunity to choose JOY.  I see the opportunity to find JOY in the everyday, giving thanks for our Creator who gifted me eyes to see, ears to hear, a mind to reflect,  a heart to feel,  and hands to serve.

#SustainingJoy is my personal mission of establishing a renewal of the mind, as well the establishing of a new habit for finding and recording the JOY found in the everyday, giving thanks and praise where it is rightfully, and righteously, due.  I want to practive the discipline of reclaiming joy by focusing on, and finding, those things that bring me joy & that I am thankful for...thus giving praise where praise is due.

365 days of thanksgiving and praise...reclaiming and seeking to sustain joy in my heart.

May you, too, be encouraged and find JOY in the everyday.  May you also find ways to enter His gates with thanksgiving & His courts with praise.  

Enjoy the journey...Life is short, let us live it well.

    September 1, 2016

 I am thankful for the gift of solace and quiet that was found today on my paddle board.  It was just me, the water, the mountains God created, and a few herons and geese.

Off in the distance, children could be heard playing and laughing on a playground, but outside of that, I was all alone and the only one out on the water.

It was soothing to my soul.  It allowed me to have some quiet time for reflection, prayer, and the letting go (and letting down) of any burdens.  This precious piece of time filled my heart full of joy while in the midst of such peace and beauty.

It was such a serene time.  Just God, myself, the paddle, and the board.

September 2, 2016

Cameron, Taylor, and Aileen, Aug 2016

I am thankful for the three beautiful girls God has gifted Rob and I with, and entrusted into our care.  They are each beautiful, healthy, strong, and gifted in their own ways.  Our eldest turns 14 this upcoming week and I am so thankful for the strong leader, and influential, wise, young woman she is becoming.  She has a heart to rise and overcome any challenge, loves others well (even siblings...most of the time!), is responsible, and seeks to grow in her faith.  I am so incredibly grateful for the gift of our children. 

Our family

 September 3, 2016

I am thankful for the holiday weekend where we can all catch up on rest as a family.  We still have things that need to be completed, but no set schedule in which to be somewhere and complete all things.  Instead, we get to enjoy one another and relax.  Praise! 

September 4, 2016

I am thankful for POWER TOOLS!  Yay for the joy found in seeing progress come through chain-sawing through branches and trees!  Praise for the strength to wield around our pole chainsaw and begin the work in bringing down dead trees in our backyard.  Woot woot!

September 5, 2016

I am thankful we have a Lord who loves us and walks with us, providing strength in all situations. He extends grace to me, with all my faults, so that I may extend grace to others (and not judgment).  Praise His grace was experienced yesterday as we prayed and came alongside dear friends going through a burdensome and life-changing time.

This is what the Lord says:

“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength
    or the rich boast of their riches,

but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth,
    for in these I delight,” declares the Lord."

Jeremiah 9:23-24

September 6, 2016

I am thankful for beautiful, peaceful, calm, and joy-filled discoveries with a precious little two year old, "C" man.  Digging in the dirt, pulling weeds, and discovering slugs to name "Peanuts", because, that just "sounds like a good name."  These are times filled with laughter, oohs, ahhs, and sheer joy (for the both of us).

September 7, 2016

"I will lead the blind on roads
    they have never known;
I will guide them on paths
    they have never traveled.
Their road is dark and rough,
    but I will give light
to keep them from stumbling.
    This is my solemn promise."
Isaiah 42:16 (CEV)

I am thankful for these season of how God is at work through the gift of His Word, as well as others' works of novel, non-fiction, etc and the gift of opening my eyes to the beauty of spiritual disciplines and what enjoying them in life looks like personally.
He is opening my eyes and drawing me new (James 4:8...my lifeverse).

"Life's painful intrusions aren't  negotiable...they happen.  It's what we do with them that matters."
"The path to freedom and healing takes us right through the heart of the pain. Jesus the Good Shepherd walks with you (me) through the darkness---you are never alone."

"God never says, 'Just get over it.'  Never.  God says, 'Give it to Me.'
Sensible Shoes, Sharon G. Brown, Chapter 10

September 8, 2016

It brings me joy to have the blessing and opportunity to give our birthday girl with her very own digital camera today!  She loves photography, just as I do!  Oh how I loved this shared passion and how I look forward to how it it might continue to grow over the years (and even how we might share in this mutual passion together!)  Happy 14th, Cam!   

  

September 9, 2016

Oh the joy I am experiencing stepping back inot a leadership role in youth ministry!!  Or, rather, pre-teen ministry, to be exact!  Yup, I am re-connecting with that part of my discovered self from looong ago (talking graduating college type of long-ago) when I realized I was indeed one of those "weird ones" that love kids of the pre-teen/ junior high age group!
God loved on my heart this night as His Spirit moved through me to engage, enjoy, and relish the night kicking off our preteen Bridge ministry for 5th/6th graders.  Our oldest helped be a leader, Rob helped lead worship, and it was simply pure JOY!
Oh I am so thankful...thank you, Lord, for blessing me SO very richly!

September 10th, 2016

Rob and Ryan...birthday buddies!

Thankful for the gift of these guys...both wonderful fathers,  amazing husbands, and men who walk closely with the Lord.  We are praising the gift of their lives, as well as another year older (and shared birthdays!), and grateful to have so many wonderful friends to share this special day with.  

 

September 11th, 2016

"The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word."  Hebrews 1:3a

 

"He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."  Colossians 1:17

Today, as we reflect on the 15th anniversary of the tragedy of 9-11-01, I stand thankful that our Lord is Sovereign and that Jesus, His Son, holds all things together.  Even as I reflect and remember the tragedy that befell our country fifteen years ago, and how my faith may have been shaken, I pray that I always hold fast to His promises and choose to BELIEVE. For, His Word is life and He indeed is the Sovereign King who holds all things together.

Praise Him who holds me together daily!

September 12th, 2016

Joy

Rend Collective

We're choosing celebration
Breaking into freedom
You're the song
You're the song
Of our hearts

We cast aside our shadows
Trust You with our sorrows
You're the song
You're the song
Of our hearts

We're dancing to the rhythm of Your heart
We're rising from the ashes to the stars

You're the joy joy joy lighting my soul
The joy joy joy making me whole
Though I'm broken, I am running
Into Your arms of love

The pain will not define us
Joy will reignite us
You're the song
You're the song
Of our hearts

We're dancing to the rhythm of Your heart
We're rising from the ashes to the stars

You're the joy joy joy lighting my soul
The joy joy joy making me whole
Though I'm…

I am thankful for the Spirit moving within my heart and God drawing near as I am learning to more intimately draw near to Him. I am also thankful for how He is encouraging and peeling back the layers of my mask to reveal healing and truth.  I am thankful for His Son, Jesus Christ, and that, He who created me, longs to KNOW me.

"As we pursue deep transformation in Christ, we need to name and contemplate what has shaped us in the past.  We also need to consider how we are moving forward in our life with God.  

Where have you come from?

Where are you going?"

   Sensible Shoes, Sharon G. Brown, Ch 9

 September 13th, 2016

Oh how music moves me...I am so thankful to the countless artists out there who are driven to share their gifts, passion, lessons learned, and inspirational verse & choruses.  The words to this song move me today and I am thankful for the reminder of Christ's transformational love...

September 14th, 2016

And, we're off!  DoTERRA Convention 2016!  So thankful for these fun friends to travel and share in the experience with!  Grateful for their shared love of essential oils and desire to learn more about them.  

Bring on the fun times in SLC, Utah! :)

Septemer 15th, 2016

Can we say REUNION?!? 

One of the best things about convention is being reunited with Texas lovelies...and new friends from ALL over the country!  The heart of this doTERRA team is pure gold and of complete service to one another (and others).  Each of these gorgeous men and women are an inspiration and I consider it pure JOY to be privvy to any of it.  

September 16th, 2016    

 I know, I know...it's already been stated that I love my friends and I am SO very thankful for each and every one of them.  But, anyone who would willingly take time out of their busy lives and DRIVE through the length of Wyoming has GOT to be a good friend indeed!  How we enjoyed our time seeing, smelling, touching, and experiencing all the new product at convention...and being silly together! The "biker chicks" from Colorado had a grand time indeed (and rested well...tee hee)

 

September 17, 2016

I count it as pure, inspirational JOY to have had the honor to hear Immaculee Illibagiza speak as the keynote speaker at Convention.  A survivor of the Rwandan genocide in 1994, Immaculee is a woman filled with the love and hope of Jesus Christ, and a woman who has amazing story of forgiveness to share.  Her perspective of how "love conquers all" is inspirational Truth.  Other blessed bits of encouragement I received:

• "Life is your gift and it is up to you as to how to use it."
• "Choose love, choose joy, choose grace....choose Jesus!"   
• "Choose to build others up, not tear down.  Choose love, not hatred.  Choose to serve, not to gain."
• "We don't know how long we will be here (on earth)...put passion into what you do and how/where you serve."
• "I knew that my heart and mind would always be tempted to feel anger... to find blame and hate.  But, I resolved that when the negative feelings came upon me, I would not wait for them to grow or fester.  I would always turn immediately to the Source of all true power.  I would turn to God and let His love and forgiveness protect and save me."  Left to Tell, Immaculee Ilibagiza

May I strive to daily remember these truths and have the courage to put them into practice, always...and seek strength in the Spirit to continually do so.  

 September 18, 2016
 I have found a Sunday School class!  Praise our retired pastor, Jim Murphy, for hearing God's call to teach this class on hearing God...reading, discussing, and following the meditation in God's Word as layed out in Dallas Willard's book, Hearing God.  I am thankful and excited for all God has in store for my life and heart.  Praise, praise, praise!

September 19, 2016
Praise that I am beginning to truly learn that HE is God and "I" am NOT.  Whew!  The struggles can be fierce and truly heart-wrenching.  Being witness to a beloved friend's intense earthly struggles and fight such vicious demons is a sadness that I find almost too great to bear.  Oh how thankful I am for Jesus...How my heart cries out to God on my friend's behalf, seeking out Jesus to break chains, barriers, walls and ultimately asking for his surrender of all battles.  No sooner have I lifted him up in prayer than do I consider my own self.  Oh how my own personal prayer cries out for freedom...for freedom from all that binds me.  May I find freedom in Christ, and may He alone help me truly see, hear, and experience the depth of His love and grace...especially the depths of His love from where He calls me "friend" (John 15:15)

"Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting"

Psalm 139:23-24 

September 20, 2016

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light"

Matthew 11:29-30  

 Praise for the ways He is revealing to me how the answer to managing through life's burdens is to turn to Him.  My focus has been fixated on all the needs around me, when truly my focus should be fixated on Him, and on coming to Him. 

First and foremost.

Praise you, Father, for how you help me, step by step, to work my way out from underneath the burdens.  

Praise the strength, life and encouragement found in Your Word.

Thank you for showing me how Your yoke is easy ad burden is light...thank you for continuing to reveal how it comes from time "sitting at your feet." (Luke 8:35)

September 21, 2016

Twin Owls, Rocky Mountain National Park

    Praise the gorgeous autumn day and the opportunity to get away into God's grand creation in the form of Rocky Mountain National Park.  Praise the intimate way He met me...within the pages of His blessed Word.

 ^"And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.”

1 Kings 19:7 (ESV)

Why do these words, and this verse (in particular),

  resonate with me so deeply?

The journey in ministry HAS been hard, and at times, too much for me.  The Lord cares for us in these times, just as He was so tenderly doing for my soul at this specific point and time.  

His still, small voice is there...present.

He is reassuring me, through His Word, that it is OK (and oh so very necessary) to focus on self-care.  It isn't selfish (my current battle as I am being encouraged by doctor and husband that focusing on my own personal self-care is important).  God is reaffirming that notion and speaking into the battle, separating truth from lies.

Oh Lord, I cling to You and am thankful for the many ways You continue to pursue me.  Thank you for being in the midst of my battle of self-care vs. selfishness.  Thank you for validating self-care within my life and heart, but more importantly, thank you for allowing me to hear Your still, small voice.

September 22, 2016

 Praise for the gift of the Belong tour beginning tonight and being here with a group of wonderful women from our church.  

"We all have a longing to belong...meet that longing and the need at the foot of the cross...being still and knowing He is God (Ps 46:10).  Christ renews us, speaks peace to our soul...embrace christ, be still and know that He is God, (Stacy)"  -Patsy Clairmont 

September 23, 2016

Oh how thankful I am for how God pursues us and reveals Himself in the details of our personal lives!  Man, how He is speaking intimately to my heart through the speakers/artists/etc here at the Belong tour!

http://www.belongtour.com/

Thank you for the ways in which You are revealing/showing/impressing upon my heart, Oh Lord, how You truly are a God of Love (1 John 4:15-16).  
 How poignantly beautiful that You bring that truth back around in such a tender way by revealing how You long to love me, reveal Your love to me, and be Your friend.  And, how tender and beautiful is Your Spirit speaking to me through these beautiful women speaking at the Belong Tour:

• "Ask myself, 'What am I good at?' and press in to the thing that I love to do.  Pay attention to what makes my heart pound, breath quicken, etc (Marianne Williamson's, A Return to Love).  Jesus did not ask us to be famous, but to be faithful...the outcome belongs to God, but I am in charge of showing up with my gifts.  Show up for my own life and what God created me to do...STOP remaining SMALL, confined by FEAR."  Jen Hatmaker

• "Be grateful for where I am and who I am.  Be complimentary and kind to myself.  start to move...slowly, but move foward, step-by-step, whatever I can move, move!  Hold onto accountability, with others and with my own self.  Believe, I am worthy of my BEST life.  If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you."  Angela Davis

• "The love you have been looking for everywhere is found in dwelling deeply in the love of God (and the love that He has for you)."  Shauna Niequist

September 24, 2016  
 I won't lie...I am wrestling, struggling, grappling for understanding and answers.  My health issues elude me (and the doctors)...and all I know for certain is that I am beyond exhausted, with a tiredness like I have never before experienced.  It has gotten the better of my spirit on many days, and it threatens to do so again today.  Fearing another bout of massive hair loss (after washing my hair this morning), I am reminded to trust in His promises.  I am reminded of coming to Him, He who holds me in the palm of His great and mighty hand.  I am reminded how He is the Guard and Keeper of my heart.  

Even as I walk through this period of not understanding what is going on with my health (or GOOD health, as the doctors have shared thus far), I long to shine with the Light of Jesus.  I am indifferent to to all other wills but His, and His alone.  Just as Job spoke these words,

"
"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

Job 1:21

I long to express this same sentiment.  The Lord may have taken away my ability to run long distances currently, as well as my energy store to successfully get through an entire day, but if this be His will, then I will still bless His Holy Name.  He may allow these unsettling things to happen, but I will rest in His Sovereign plan and guidance through it all.  May I praise His name, for this is a season of drawing near to Him, afterall.  What a joy it is to grow in relationship and experience this season of spiritual awakening!  Praise this life He has gifted me with!  Blessed be the name of the Lord.

September 25, 2016

I am so thankful for being introduced to this fabulous book I am reading.  Albeit a work of fiction, it weaves fictitious characters in with the practical approach of what it looks like to incorporate a variety of spiritual disciplines into one's livelihood.  Sensible Shoes: A Story About the Spiritual Journey by Sharon Garlough Brown has been an excellent read. 

Some of the text that has especially resonated with my heart, soul, and mind are:

• "The process of transformation is never complete this side of heaven.  But the Good Shepherd faithfully and lovingly leads and guides us as we say yes to Him."
• "Regarding suffering and pain:  There are people who try to pretend that the pain isn't there and they think that denying their pain is God's command...that denial is somehow the evidence of faith.  But Jesus invites us to name our pain and to receive His grace for our suffering so that nothing is wasted.  Jesus is the perfect Redeemer of our sorrow and suffering, if we entrust ourselves to Him.  The miracle is that Christ Jesus has the power to make something beautiful and precious out of it."  Sensible Shoes, Chapter 10

September 26, 2016

"Wearing a pastor's (wife) mask...it is a lonely way to live.  The lie is that we have got to be strong and steadfast for the congregation, to be the epitome of faith and hope, be perfect and holy.  As time goes on, the mask becomes a way of life.  We don't even realize it's taken over.  And it becomes an awful prison...I want to walk the road to claiming my identity as the beloved of God."

Sensible Shoes, Chapter 9

How I praise how God is working to remove the masks I have worn for so very, very, very long.  He is tenderly bringing me back to reclaiming my identity as His Beloved.  Praise Him!

There is great pain that I have weighed down and expected my shoulders and heart to carry, not knowing my way out of it all.  One thing I do know: My way forward is always about going deeper into God's love for me.

I have often been so busy serving Him that I have forgotten to simply BE with Him...sitting at His feet. 

How I praise Him for slowing me down, physically, so that I could recall how to rest in knowing His love and enjoying the gift of being His beloved.  If stripping everything away will bring this kind of gift (of freedom, peace, joy), then help me to trust and yield to You, Lord.

September 27, 2016

Once again, I am encouraged by words shared at the Belong Tour, possibly by Angela Davis, but quite possibly Jen Hatmaker.  I am not altogether certain.  These words are an intermingling of their words, as well as my own.  All I know is I am thankful for some guidance, clarity, reaffirmation that speaks into the heart of who I know I am, the beloved daughter of the King, Stacy Danette Moreland McClelland (my mom would be happy I included my middle name...tee hee).  
You see, I am very thankful for the vision the Bible provides in Exodus 17:10-13, of Joshua leading the Israelites in battle against the Amalekites and how, as long as Moses had his arms raised before God, the Lord led Joshua and the Israelite army in victory.  If Moses' arms dropped or failed, then the Amalekites would begin winning.  The key for me is how Moses had his brother, Aaron, and fellow Israelite, Hur, by his side.  When Moses became weak/tired, they provided the encouragement, stability, and strength that Moses needed to keep the Israelites winning in battle.  The Lord gave the Israelites victory that afternoon and the Amalekites were defeated.  What encouragement God offered Moses in the form of his brother and friend!  

Mills Lake, RMNP, Aug, 2016

I  recognize that I have been an encourager all my life, but sometimes I am in need of other trust-worthy encouragers to come alongside and lift up my arms and lift me up in a strong, yet personal, way.  How thankful I am for those God has brought into my life to come alongside and uphold my arms to the Lord.  How thankful I am that God brought our family to Loveland, CO, to serve Him and to be encouraged in our walk with Him by fellow authentic encouragers in the faith.  This is where I am finding my best life..in Him, and in our Promised Land.  Oh how I am eternally grateful!

September 28, 2016

 I am thankful today that I have been finding courage.  Courage to face the wounds, the hurts, the pain, and the grief that has accompanied much of the pain and hurt.  I love how Nicole Nordeman has phrased it:  "Grief is the price of great love."

With great love, however, comes sacrifice.  And, more times than I care to admit, I feel it is my heart that has been the sacrifice.

So, how do we find the courage to run toward our personal pain?

Nicole shares that we should strive to: know who we are.

We, as women, are "helpers."  At the base of the word woman is the meaning of "helper" and also a meaning of "warrior."  Not a warrior intending to wound, but a warrior that fights for healing.  In essence, as women, we are "love warriors."    

Nicole encourages us to rush toward the pain of our lives, pick it up, and carry it.  This is what picking up our cross daily is all about...rushing toward the pain of our lives vs pushing the "easy" button of denial.  

Oh how good I am at pushing that "easy" button!

However, as a "love warrior", I should press on (in the Lord), and NOT be afraid.  For, "whatever breaks my heart will push me toward my purpose."  (Glennon Doyle Melton in Love Warrior:A Story of Relationships)

May everything that is in me bravely surface, as I walk hand-in-hand with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

September 29, 2016

Prayer Labyrnith, Loveland, CO

  I know, this photo doesn't look like much...it's hard to tell that the rocks truly are organized in the fashion of a labyrinth, but they are!  And, this is a spot that blessed me today.  In spite of the busyness of the location and traffic all around, the Lord met me here...winding, twisting, turning, and eventually landing in the center of this labyrinth.

No, it hasn't been well maintained...probably been a couple of seasons since this labyrinth saw it's last weeding.  However, I took great comfort in the presence of the weeds.  For, they were reminders to me of all the distractions that this world can offer, and how persistent and intentional we must be to remain in communion and intimate relationship with our Lord.  It takes discipline.  It takes commitment.  It takes pruning and refining.  

So, even as I walked the twists and turns, maneuvered through the weeds, and followed the path to the center, the heart of the labyrinth; I praised  God for this moment with Him.  I praised Him for this lesson and encouragement to continue finding times of quiet before Him.  I praised Him for meeting me, not only in the center and heart of this labyrinth, but for residing in my heart and showering me with His Love and Presence.

September 30, 2016

Love III

"Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back,

guilty of dust and sin.

But quick-ey'd Love, observing me grow slack from my first entrance in,

drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning if I lack'd anything.

A guest, I answer'd, worthy to be here:

Love said, You shall be he.

I, the unkind, ungrateful?  Ah, my dear, I cannot look on thee.

Love took my hand, and smiling did reply,

Who made the eyes but I?

Truth, Lord, but I have marr'd them:

let my shame go where it doth deserve.

And know you not, says Love, who bore the blame?

My dear, then I will serve.

You must sit down, says Love, and taste my meat:

So I did sit and eat.

-George Herbert (1593-1633)

How grateful I am to have been introduced to a bit of classical literature, especially a prose as beautiful as the above.   This "description of the Eucharist is an invitation to the deepest levels of intimacy and communion with Christ."  As one reads this passage, "we find how Christ keeps welcoming, keeps inviting, until finally the beloved and forgiven guest says, "Yes..." and ingests God." (Sensible Shoes, Chapter 8) 

As I continue to ponder, the question arises within me:  What kind of host am I to Jesus?

Oh, how this leads to a path of condemnation!  Oh how I see how, for years, my struggle and battle with pride has kept me from a truly intimate and personal relationship with Jesus!  I have shown Him little time, while also remaining shallow in my own prayer life before Him...simply not allowing Him into the very depths of my blackened heart.  I have been ungrateful and unable to rise out of the pit of my own self to step out and recognize His love.  I see how often I strive for other people's respect and admiration more than I strive for His...oh how guilty I am of living in such  a state of self-consciousness due to the fear of what others might think AND fear of their critical thoughts/comments/etc.  I realize that I don't truly live in the spotlight well, yet that is where I find myself living in my heart and mind, slave to the label "Pastor's Wife."

Praise You, Lord, for sharing these words, speaking into my heart and encouraging me in how the spiritual life is all about intimacy....intimacy without defenses.     

  

"Love is bidding welcome, drawing near and tenderly reassuring: 'Stacy, you shall be she."