Truth will set you free

Joy & Pumpkins

2011-10-27T10:59:00.000-07:00

My heart swelled with great joy as I watched my eldest daughter interact with elderly men & women yesterday afternoon. This child, so eager to give of herself, so excited to find people to talk to, and so completely in her element while mingling with an older generation. Yes, my heart soared with joy and my eyes welled up with tears.

The girls and I have become involved with our school's community service organization. This month's service was a pumpkin donation to a local senior citizen community. The overall project involved students decorating pumpkins and then coming together, grades preK-6th, in a school-wide parade. Parents & faculty were present for congratulating and "ooing" & "ahhing" over all the creativity in pumpkin decorating (and there was some GREAT creativity involved!). Afterwards, those who were interested, donated their pumpkins to our service organization. Our children then loaded the pumpkins into cars and made a visit to the senior citizen retirement community. We were going to wish them a Happy Fall & share some festive pumpkin spirit with them.
It was to my great joy that our eldest, upon depositing her armful of pumpkins on the dining room stairs with the others, was conversing with an older woman & resident when I arrived on the scene with toddler-in- tow. All on her own she was striking up conversation with another person's grandmother. Not only that, but she had graciously given her own personally decorated pumpkin to this woman should she like it for her personal room. And to think that this one instance would only be the beginning of the joy that would continue to be beheld by me during our time at the senior citizen facility.
Once her conversation complete, this eldest daughter of mine came running over to me excitedly asking, "Mom, is there anyone else I can talk to?" Taken a bit aback by this new-found interest in others, I pointed her in the direction of the main lobby where two older women were sitting. She bounded on over, introduced herself, and offered a "Hello." As I neared the scene, I noticed that many of our school students & parents had gathered in an activity room where many additional residents had been involved in "horse races." I nudged our daughter, guided her attention to the activities room, and off we went with toddler-in-tow.
Albeit a bit hesitant at first, this eldest daughter of mine overthrew hesitancy and jumped into line behind a fellow student to make the rounds of the room greeting elderly men & women. For this mom, busy taking pictures and keeping up with toddler-in-tow (wondering, "why didn't I bring the stroller in?!?"), it was a joy to simply sit back and watch.
I witnessed maturity in bloom in the heart, mind, demeanor, and attitude of our precious 9 year old. I witnessed a glimpse of character being developed as she gave of herself. I witnessed confidence & joy as came to the last individual and bounded into my arms, beaming from ear to ear with a bright smile, and simply glowing from extending of herself and getting to know others. Her first words upon coming back to my side were, "Mom, I did it! I went around the room!"
She was filled with joy. She amazed her mom and provided such an incredible gift. A gift to others, to herself, and to her dear mother. A gift that I never want to forget, thus the posting of this story today. I am so thankful for this opportunity to witness a milestone, and to witness growth in individuality, step, by little, baby step. Thank you, Lord, for this revelation and gift of joy...thank you for our precious children.

Deer in Headlights

2011-10-13T12:40:00.000-07:00

October, 2011

So, what is it that has me caught as if a “deer in headlights”? Oh, is it fear? Really, fear, again?! Sigh.

Why yes, yes it. Honestly, it isn’t nice to see you again F-E-A-R. Really, it isn’t.

Remember, I was choosing adventure over you! Truly I was!

However, it seems that fear will be a thorn in my side these days. The true catalyst of what encourages me to daily come before our loving & gracious Lord in surrender. And, just this week, I have come to realize another facet of fear that needed placing before our Lord, with His gentle call to yield, surrender, & follow Him through it all.

Allow me to start from the beginning. I begin with humble thanksgiving. I am so thankful that the Lord is so gracious to meet us in His Word. How He encourages & shows of His intimate care of us through the power of His Word! How wise He is to allow me to be studying the book of Acts during this particular season of life. His timing of this study alone, along with all our church & denomination drama, has been encouragement and witness to the power He has in the details of our lives. I stand in awe as I witness & experience God walking intimately with me during this time in life. I am moved to tears as I am held in His hands, experiencing the depths of His love & sovereignty, and know without a shadow of a doubt that He has a purpose & plan in all this. He is going to move, and it is going to be powerful. I simply have to be patient, continue praying, learning, obeying & listening…no easy task for this person who likes things neat & orderly!

This particular “deer in headlights” moment started with the studying of Acts 5:17-8:8. A recent journal entry of mine will help get us adequately started. Here is part of my prayer written to our Lord from October 3^rd, 2011:

“Father, I am so weak & You are so strong. Fill my weaknesses, oh Lord, & renew a right spirit within me. Father, I have come to realize how I cling to fear more than I cling to you. Free me from the grasp of fear---I long to be strong in You, & You alone.

Father, I am gripped with fear at the thought of suffering & the suffering that would thus come about for the family. Forgive me for seeing fear vs. Your good. Father, you alone are good. You are Protector & Guide. Protect us from shame & disgrace. Uphold your servants & show us the way you would have us go. Reveal what you are calling us to do. Renew Rob’s energy, focus & quench his desire. I pray for Rob’s steadfastness in You. I pray for courage & boldness, for His strength to come from You & his words & actions to be righteous & true.

Father, equip me to support. Free me from fear. Fill me with Your boldness to withstand whatever challenge/difficulty/turmoil that could possibly lie ahead….”

What did I get hung up on in Acts 5:17-8:8 (other than the obvious fear I mention more than once?!). I got hung up on Acts 5:41…specifically the word “rejoicing.” The apostles were rejoicing in this particular passage due to the suffering they had encountered at the hands of the Sanhedrin because they had been proclaiming the Good News of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. They “rejoiced because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name.” Wow. As you can tell from my above journal entry, I simply was not there & I was that lone deer caught in the beam of headlights from an upcoming Truth God was desiring for me to yield & surrender to. Yes, I felt as if I was about to get plowed over. Yes, I felt as if it just might near kill me, too.

You see, with all our denomination “yuck” that has been going on, our church’s current deliberation in prayerful discernment over what to do/action to take, & our local Presbytery clearly sharpening their hostile vice-grip on churches slightly bent toward leaving the denomination, I have come to the conclusion that suffering just may be on the horizon for us. And, just like the apostles, it comes down to the fact that we’re teaching/preaching/sharing the love & message of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. We are stirring up the hornet’s nest. We are daring to share the offensiveness of Jesus Christ…and for that we just might suffer. Rob might lose his job, might be ripped of his ordination & credentials in our denomination, and be left in “not-good standing” with our denomination. Not to mention the emotional turmoil all the above would place on our church & its congregants, not to mention our elders, staff, and our personal family. Yes, suffering is a high probability. Yes, it is scary & yes, I am very much fearful.

However, the Lord is gracious & gentle. He has lovingly come along-side my fear that I was relinquishing up to Him & striving to lay down. Here is how He has answered, & here lies His gentle & intimate way of meeting me in His Word to do so:

Through widening my perspective:

· In Lesson 1 of our BSF notes, we recently read how “Acts presents a cycle involving Christian work accomplished in the power of the Holy Spirit. Prayer leads to power to preach or witness, resulting in miracles of changed lives & spiritual healing, which in turn leads to persecution or opposition.”(pg 2) God opened my eyes to how, throughout the Christian life & Christian work, we experience this cycle. It can be witnessed again & again in the Bible and countless stories within the Old & New Testament. People were persecuted, people prayed, and people received the Power of God to move mountains, cross rivers, claim victory. We too find ourselves in this cycle. We are being persecuted for being evangelicals, we are devoted to prayer, and we are about to witness His Power & purpose in this matter…in His time and as we daily surrender the battle to Him. Oh, how this perspective has encouraged me to further live the Spirit-filled life to finish what God has given us to do for Him in this world!

· From Lesson 4 of our BSF notes, “It took persecution following Stephen’s martyrdom to thrust them forth to evangelize Samaria & beyond.” (pg 1) As believers were scattered from Jerusalem following Stephen’s stoning & the Gospel proclaimed, it dawned on me that our persecution might directly encourage expansion of ministry of some sort. That would be the good, the power, and the purpose that might come from our suffering. He promises to hold us, provide for us, and care for us just as He promises to bring good from these dire circumstances (Romans 8:28). My fear is slowly being replaced by the recognition and understanding of God’s good & purpose.

· Once again, from BSF notes in Lesson 4, “The test of a true work of God is that such opposition only serves to bring forth new fruit, increased power & deeper spiritual roots.” (pg 3) Power comes through united prayer & is modeled for us through the apostles in Acts 4:23-37. “They quietly united for prayer in Jesus’ name. They prayed to the living, personal God who has all power & authority over all flesh (4:24). They used the promises & prophecies of Scripture (Psalm 2) as a basis for prayer in the will of God (Acts 4:25-28) & they made a clear-cut, specific request. They did not ask for protection. They requested more boldness to witness & more power to help other needy individuals (4:29-30). Finally, God answered by power (4:31). God manifested His approval of this gathering in answer to prayer by the outward sing of an earthquake. There was a new infilling by the Holy Spirit that resulted in mutual love & intimate fellowship among them (4:32), great power to witness (4:33), great grace (4:33), and generous financial giving to God & His people (4:34-37). God allowed this opposition in order to consolidate them & deepen their roots in Christ.” (pg 3) If we continue on in unified prayer (as individuals, elders, church, etc), we can have the blessed assurance that God will act powerfully on our behalf and answer our prayer for restoration, renewal, community, & deepening of our roots in Christ! How exciting! Flee fear…bring on adventure & excitement in Christ!!

· Lastly, our most recent BSF notes from Lesson 5. The opening sentences, dealing directly with new-found Godly purpose to all this demise?? “Disruption & displacement in life are almost always painful. However, they can lead to expansion into new work & new effectiveness. In the hands of God, removal from one place or endeavor can bring renewal for knowing Him better. There may be new, significant work for His cause in the world. (This was the experience of the first believers in Jesus). God's purpose is never frustrated by persecution. He personally cared for His own little flock & fulfilled His purpose in the world during those days of suffering. Have you ever considered your present trial as an opportunity for expansion? We must recognize that the desire for eternal fruit & an expanded ministry involves choosing to die (with Christ by the power of the Cross) to everything except the work of God in our life. Jesus has promised that such a decision will result in a fruitful life.” (pg 1) More encouragement! More words assuring me that He has me in the palm of His hand & that He is Sovereign & in control of it all. More importantly, He is equipping me for what is ahead, may it be suffering or new ministry opportunities, or all of the above…He is equipping & growing me into the woman of faith that can “rejoice because I have been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name.” (Acts 5:41)

· One final reminder from the notes in Lesson 5, pg 6: “Paul was content to wait God's time...He was hidden in God's hand until he was ready for God's use. Am I patient while God prepares you for an unknown future ministry?” Yes, Lord, although it is difficult (daily!), I will patiently wait, hidden in Your hand, until I am ready for Your ordained use.

Through the understanding of powerful Principles:

Thank you, Esther Farhat, our beautiful Teaching Leader for our Day Women’s Class of BSF, for these profound principle Truths!

· “Waiting always involves prayer for God to reveal our next step of obedience.”

· “Spirit-filled believers participate in a devoted community that attracts people to Christ.”

· “Unified believing prayer releases God’s power & enables His hand to move.”

· “Courageous Christianity proclaims the name even in the most difficult of situations.”

· “God’s divine purposes will never be frustrated by man’s demonic plans.”

All of this has led me to end with the last of my prayer journal entry from October 3^rd and the realization of how our Lord has blessed, cared for, and spoken to me in the place of my most dire need. He is dispelling fear, as long as I continue to surrender & obey.

“Father, I surrender to you. You are good. Your ways are best. Father, even though the trials & circumstances may become dark, hard, dismal, & challenging---You are the Light of my path & I know You will lead us to what is best. I pray for angels of encouragement to surround us as we enter this battle. Thank you for Your provision. Amen”

Yes, thanks be to You & all praise, glory, & honor to You alone! Amen!!

Adventure or Fear? I'll take adventure!

2011-05-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

God has an adventure for us. These words were shared this morning & I desperately long to claim this perspective for my personal life. All of life's uncertainties, all it's perpetual changes...all its' topsy-turviness...it is an adventure & it's God's gift to us. I am choosing now to accept this as my perspective, foresaking the habitual perspective I have had my entire life with its root in fear.

Accepting and taking on this perspective will be a daily choice. Living in faith & not fear means dependency upon Him as no other time in my life, allowing Him to transform me, & a daily commitment to prayer as I daily seek Him, His wisdom, understanding, and eternal perspective. How thankful I am that He ordained it to be that I study Isaiah this past year! How timely for my personal faith-strengthening! How equipped to walk through these upcoming dark days of change & uncertainty with the light of His Word tucked away in my heart & mind, and the growing courage to stand for Him when faced with untruths.

Allow me to share some of the principles & truths I have learned while studying Isaiah:
*I am bolstered by the reigning theme that He is SOVEREIGN. His purpose stands & He will make known the end from the beginning (Is 14:24, 27; 46:10)
*Every day we must choose to go forward with focused faith in God or become paralyzed in focused fear of our circumstances. (Is 8:11-22)
*God calls His faithful people to view life through the lens of His character rather than the lens of circumstances. He is infinitely bigger than our circumstances.
*Looking back on God's faithfulness renews our courage to go forward. Recalling His faithfulness is a great place to start in prayer.
*By raising our situation to Him we are recognizing His sovereignty in our lives.
*In the midst of change & uncertainty, God is in control. (Is 14:24-32)
*He will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in Him. (Is 26:3)
*Through reliency on Him we can cast out all fear, trusting in Him, His ways, His Truth, His guidance, & His direction (Is 48:17)
*Through the power of His strength, we can take a stand (Is 7:9)
*His ways are always bigger (and better) than our ways (Is 55:8-9)
*He will sustain us, carry us; & rescue (Is 46:4)
*Knowing the Sovereign Lord helps us, we will not be disgraced. We will have to set our faces like flint, knowing that we will not be put to shame. (Is 50:7)
*We need to awaken & clothe ourselves with the Lord's strength (Is 51:9), allowing gladness & joy to overtake us, with sorrow & sighing fleeing away (Is 51:11)
*We need to keep our focus on Him, our Comforter, and not fear mortal men (Is 51:12)
*Praise that our Lord hems us in...He goes before us & He is our rear-guard (Is 52:12)
*Let us delight greatly in our Lord, with our souls rejoicing for He knows what is best for us & He will direct us to what is good...His good, pleasing, and perfect will (Is 61:10; Romans 12:2)

It is a time to come near & listen to our Lord as we grapple with the unfolding situation of our denomination falling prey to our prevailing culture. Things may look dismal, bleak, scary, & altogether broken, however, God is a God of restoration and renewal. God is a God who is Sovereign & in control. To His character we turn, to His guidance & wisdom we listen & adhere. To Him we send up our fervent prayers to strengthen us as we endure the repercussions of our prevailing culture impacting our denomination in such a fiercely negative way. May we all find our voice and take a stand as God directs. May we all be wise enough to listen, and fervently pray. May we remember to cover our leaders with prayers to be given the ability to discern what the next step is that God is asking us to take. May we all be encouraged as God grows us through another one of life's adventures.

God in the details: Marriage

2009-11-03T15:33:00.000-08:00

I was recently asked by my church to share on how God has been at work in my life. It’s only through His strength that I find the boldness to share what He wishes for me to share, as, I know many of us will agree, this is an area of life that is very intimate and difficult to disclose. That area is: marriage. Just as in church, before our congregation, I needed to ask Rob to forgive me; I feel I need to do the same now, as I did not clear this post with him before-hand. However, I do have to say that, after years of being used as an example from the pulpit, I see it this way: It’s my turn. :)

Marriage is a gift from God, a true joy to be experienced on earth but also a union that brings along some of the greatest challenges in life. It has its’ seasons of highs & lows, dry times & rich times, as well as seasons of closeness and distance. For Rob and I, we are leaving behind a season of lows and distance to embrace, with our Lord, this new season of richness and closeness. You see, the last 3 ½ years have been some of the most difficult years our marriage has yet endured. It began with the loss of Rob’s father, Neil McClelland, with 6 days prior to that the loss of my grandfather. A couple who had never been impacted by grief to that level & magnitude was suddenly faced with more grief than they truly knew how to handle! Then, within 6 months, we uprooted from our precious home in Virginia to make the transition to Arlington, Texas & a life from youth ministry to a life of Senior Pastor ministry. Not long after becoming settled in our new home, we experienced the financial stress & challenge of carrying a double mortgage for 11 months, a lot longer than we ever imagined would occur! Life continued to hit with storms through the form of medical emergencies that children can bring, house maintenance, and ultimately ending in our sacrifice of down-sizing and re-locating within Arlington the beginning of this year. Needless to say, our marriage relationship was being hit, battered, bruised, and challenged in difficult ways. I know many of us could share similar stories of challenging difficult times…Rob & I certainly know we are not alone. This is exactly one of the reasons I feel God asked me to be bold and share what He has brought us through, these, our greatest difficulties.
Yes, there have been low times. But, through it all, this has been the richest season of my faith. I have turned to God in all matters. I have looked to my faith in all the challenges and sought His Word every single time I felt I was up against defeat, discouragement, or the feelings of being destitute. Every time, He has faithfully been there, in the most intimate details of my life, making His glory known.

This summer I had the privilege of being a part of our women’s summer study of “Believing God” by Beth Moore. In this study, we were encouraged to take a deeper & closer look at our faith, honestly depicting what our true beliefs were. I asked myself such questions as, “Do I believe God at His Word, and that He can do all things…more specifically, that He can breathe life & restoration back into the heart of my marriage? Or do I doubt His power & His Sovereignty? What is the overall level of my belief?”
Through our summer study, God led me to a verse in 1 Samuel 7:12. Ironically, but not coincidentally, as I know this was a divine reminder, Rob and I have this verse painted on our own Ebenezer stone in our bedroom. It was a gift given to us by dear friends in Virginia prior to our move to Texas. I didn’t realize it at the time the gift was given, but I have come to learn that Ebenezer means “stone of help.” 1 Samuel 7:12 reminds us that our Ebenezer stone can be our tangible reminder of how “Thus far has the Lord helped us.”
Needless to say, I am reminded daily through our Ebenezer stone & this verse, how the Lord has helped, restored, and transformed us. Rob and I have both experienced transformation in our lives, and our marriage is entering into a new season of richness in our Lord because we have allowed Him to be at work transforming, refining, and growing us…closer to Him, but also closer to one another. No, we don’t have everything figured out, and we will definitely still have those “not so pretty” moments, but we have persevered and are enjoying the blessings God has to offer when we, His people, are obedient, subservient, and willing to surrender our hearts to Him.

And, now we get to enter into a new season, celebrating the gift of new life come May, 2010. What better blessing can a marriage receive from the Lord than the blessing of new life?

My name is Stacy McClelland and this is my real story.

Joshua 2

2009-06-18T07:06:00.000-07:00

Joshua 2

Divisions:

I. 2:1-7 Joshua secretly sends out spies into Promised Land; spies protected by Rahab in Jericho

II. 2:8-21 Rahab protects men, recognizes their Lord, & strikes oath for protection of herself & family when the Lord gives them the land

III. 2:22-24 Spies report back to Joshua—“Lord has surely given the whole land into our hands; all people are melting in fear because of us.”

Subject Sentence: Joshua sends two spies into land, Rahab protects, & requests protection.

Cause the Audience To (CAT):

• Learn how the Lord’s power is recognizable & He protects those who accept Him
• Understand that fear is not from the Lord & when we are immobilized by fear, we are not accepting/recognizing the Lord & His great power
• Understand that if we are in the Lord, we can stomp out fear by taking action for Him

Application Questions:

• In what ways am I allowing fear to immobilize me?
• Am I recognizing the power of the Lord in my life or am I cowering in fear?
• How can I take action for the Lord, thus stomping out fear in any given area of my life?
• Where am I listening to fear more than I am listening to the Lord?
• How can I claim the Lord’s authority to stomp out fear?

2009-06-11T06:28:00.000-07:00

Joshua 1

Divisions:

I. 1:1-9 Joshua receives commands from Lord regarding the crossing of the Jordan into Promised Land with message of “Be strong & courageous!”

II. 1:10-18 Joshua delivers Lord’s commands to officers, Reubenites, Gadites, & ½ tribe of Manasseh

Subject Sentence: Joshua follows Lord’s commands, preparing the Israelites to cross Jordan.

Cause the Audience To (CAT):

• Understand how, only when we focus & keep our eyes on our Lord, will we find the strength, courage, & the enabling to accomplish whatever feat He has asked of us
• Understand that focusing on Him, no on our circumstances (or looking to the right or left), provides us the strength/courage/ability to persevere for Him
• Understand that whatever the circumstances, do not be terrified or discouraged, but focused on Him, trusting His promise to be with you wherever you go.

Application Questions:

• What circumstance currently has me terrified/discouraged and how can I trust God to be with me through it?

I am currently stepping out in faith and embarking on a new business endeavor in photography. I have been researching/praying/thinking/preparing over this for months, and feel that God is truly encouraging me to step out and take a stab at this possibility. However, as I push forward, I am constantly struggling with fear. I keep looking around at the competition & the feelings of inferiority take over. The doubt-filled questions of, "Am I good enough? Am I talented enough? Do I know enough" plague me. I know that my focus does not need to be on this dehabilitating fear, but solely on Him and where He is leading. Being strong and courageous in Him, trusting Him to be at work through this endeavor. I can trust Him by knowing and trusting His faithful character---He is the same today as He was yesterday and as He will be tomorrow.

• What attribute of God can I cling/hold fast to (and focus on) instead of the existing circumstance?

His faithfulness to be there, never forgetting or foresaking...and always equipping.

• Do I fear, and then where do I fear, that the Lord may NOT be with me (in)?

• Am I strong and courageous for the Lord? How can I begin to be so (if not) or grow to be more so?

My delving w/in revealed the knowledge I have of how often I cling more to the desire of wanting to be accepted by others vs proclaiming my love for the Lord courageously. I will proclaim when given a 2nd or 3rd opportunity, but tend to shy away upon being given the 1st opportunity. I pray that I could allow Him to be at work on me in this area, and I would claim His strength & courage to proclaim Him loudly in Love to all I encounter (esp those I am meeting for the first time or unsure of their spiritual thoughts/influences/etc). Whew!

Our Journey & God's Deliverance

2009-02-02T08:54:00.000-08:00

Upon celebrating our first anniversary of moving & living in Arlington, TX in Nov of 2007, my husband mentioned to me the weight in his heart regarding our home. He shared with me how God was moving in his heart that the house we were living in was not the right house for us. Little did I know what lessons in sacrifice & discipline, regarding house, home, marriage, and service that I would soon be learning!
I was floored by my husband's sharing and wasn't ready to hear that we might need to consider giving up our “dream” home (well, at least, in my perspective, it was my dream home). Granted, we had definitely had our fair share of financial trouble and burdens since moving into the, but the thought of moving again had never crossed my mind. That is, until April 19th of 2008.
It was on this day that God revealed to me, through His Word and time with Him, a little of what the future held for my family & I. I was attending our church's annual women's retreat that weekend and was attentively listening to our speaker on what God teaches about glorifying Him. It was in her directing us to two particular scripture passages that I experienced an encounter with God that I will never forget. It was a pivotal and life-changing moment.
First, this passage of Jesus' words in John 16:13-15 jumped off the pages at me:
“But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you.”

“he will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you.” are the key words that rang in my ears...along with the one word of : Sacrifice.

The Spirit was directing me in what to do, and what was yet to come. He was clearly guiding me, in that one word, sacrifice, and bringing to mind the words Rob shared from his heart from months past. It was time I got on board with God's plan, let go of our home, and sacrifice. It is what He desired, and it was what would bring glory to Him.

The next passage shared by our speaker only continued to confirm this line of thought. These are, once again, Jesus' words from John 17: 1-5:

“Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they may k now you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.”

I realized, as I sat there, that the highest honor I could ever achieve or receive in this life would be to share with Him how I had “brought You glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. “

Here, in Jesus' exact words, was confirmation that I was hearing correctly, and that glory would be brought to Him if we were to obediently act on what He was sharing, and continue to listen, trust, & obey. True discipline (of a higher level) was about to be introduced into our lives, not to mention the promised blessings of the abundant life God has for us.
So, in June of 2008, we officially had our house on the market. We had a fight with the devil for a month or so, as we had some major setbacks to overcome before getting our house on the market. The spring of 2008 held several major storms for the north Texas area, especially one hail storm that did quite a bit of damage to many homes. One of those storms damaged our home and we took on quite a bit of water in our guest bedroom downstairs. Thus, the baseboards, flooring, and some sheet rock all had to be replaced and repaired. Knowing that Satan was doing his best to try to keep us from moving forward in our mission to glorify God, we moved forward with great gusto in getting that room repaired!
To our dismay, upon putting the house on the market the beginning of June, we had a buyer and a contract on the house within 5 days, complete with the sale at our asking price. This was unheard of, especially since it was the beginning of the housing market crash and such dire economic times. But, we all knew, that it was to God's glory that the house had sold, and it was God Himself who had orchestrated the events and provided what seemed to be the impossible.
For me, this is where the story takes a twist & turn, and where I was privileged with the opportunity to draw even nearer to our Lord. He challenged us. For, in the week and a half before we were supposed to close on the house, the buyers backed out of the contract. They offered no explanation, just that they simply were no longer interested in the home. My husband and I were crushed, especially since we had already moved forward in extending a contract on another home and were set to move into that home within that same week and a half. Everything that we thought was in place fell apart. Not only did we have to withdraw OUR contract, we had to re-think school enrollment for our oldest who was entering into kindergarten. We had to re-think how we were going to organize the house so that it would be ready to go back on the market, even though we had a majority of the house already packed up. Needless to say, I was personally devastated & crushed. And, I felt lost in understanding this side of God. We had been obedient in doing what He had asked...we were making sacrifices to glorify Him...this event just didn't mesh with the understanding of the characteristics of the God I thought I knew.
However, God is faithful. God is always in control. God can always be trusted. And, it was to these promises I clung. I delved into His Word, grateful to our church for providing a summer study of the Psalms. Being in the Psalms during this particular season in life was God's way of coming-alongside, continuing to love me, and shower me with the revelation of ways He was truly in the details of our lives. I also came to the understanding that it wasn't about understanding God and His ways. It was about trusting Him. Something so simple, and that I thought I understood, yet truly did not. For, when I was left baffled by circumstances, I floundered and began traveling down “Avenue 'D'”....avenue of defeat, doubt, etc., and asking those “why” questions that are all too easy to ask of God when circumstances are dire. It was during this time, and being in the Psalms, that I began to understand that He was reminding me, and asking me, to let go of trying to “understand” and to simply trust Him. There is freedom found in Trust....freedom indeed!
So, we devised a plan, with our trust and faith firmly founded in Christ and what He had planned in the future months. We made the decision to homeschool our daughter, as the move and change of schools continued to be inevitable. We felt this was the best decision for our family, especially for precious Cameron. Our house was back on the market by the beginning of August and we had a plan for the fall months. I won't gloss it over and say that those months were easy months...they weren't. Especially due to the dire financial strain we continued to suffer, and how it carried over into our marriage & family life. Part of my reason for not sharing this story more openly is due to the emotional time it has been for Rob and myself. It is simply too difficult sometimes to open up when emotions are so tender and raw. Simply put, last year was a very difficult year for Rob and I in our marriage.
However, my strength and courage to persevere came from the Lord. I am incredibly thankful for my involvement and the structure of BSF. I find great encouragement from example & commitment of fellow BSF leaders. It is their living example and the discipline of being in God's Words daily that has continued to carry me through all the difficulties. Let me share how our BSF study of the Life of Moses has directly correlated and encouraged me during this final part of the journey.

It was in our lecture from Ex 16, that our Teaching Leader mentioned how the Israelites were grumbling. Yet God did not have it out with Israel. Instead, He was using this time to test, teach, and grow Israel because Israel needed to see God in the details. They needed to be encouraged to live life in the vertical. I saw a direct parallel between the season of life the Israelites found themselves in and the season of life I found myself in. God had been growing me, teaching and testing me and revealing Himself to me in the details of my life.
I also found great comfort in Ex 17:27, when the Israelites came to Elim and were refreshed. God led the Israelites to Elim and He provided healing. There is healing found in His Word. He promises to deliver us from pain and, through this passage in Ex 17, shows us how He is in the very details of our lives. After we pass the test...there is deliverance. Oh, did I ever hold fast to this promise! It provided such hope for me last November!
I was also encouraged by the lecture surrounding Exodus 33. Our Teaching Leader mentioned, “Once we have tasted of God, we want nothing less.” Moses had tasted of God and he yearned for nothing more than to move forward with Him. How encouraged I was by these words, for they were reminders of the times God had spoken to me through His Word and how being in His presence, experiencing His glory through spending time in His Word were all fulfilled promises to living the abundant life. I had already experienced so much, and there was so much to look forward to, if I only continued to look to Him (not circumstances). His peace would prevail if only I remained focused on Him through it all.
All in all, we have continued to remain focused, continued to remain obedient, and have experienced joyful deliverance as we started a new year with 2009. While on vacation, we received the news that we had a contract on our home. We were to close on January 23rd. Now, here is where God's Word continues to align with our lives so perfectly, and he continues to reveal Himself in the details of our lives:
-Jan 14th found us discussing Exodus 40. Exodus 40:34-38 discusses God's glory filling the completed Tabernacle and how the cloud rested on the Tabernacle. The Israelites were guided by the cloud, when it lifted, they traveled, when it descended, they remained encamped. From this lesson, our Teaching Leader shared with us the Blessings of Doing it God's Way, which were: a clear conscience (at peace), safety (God protects us from mistakes we cannot foresee), joy in knowing we are pleasing God, and unbroken fellowship and awareness of His presence. Oh, how I rejoiced in my seat upon hearing these words of confirmation! To be living in the blessings of God! Everything was moving forward smoothly for our closing and move on Jan 23rd, and we were about to be delivered from a bulk of financial hardships brought on by our house, and with that a renewal of marriage commitments (we celebrated 12 years on Jan 4th and have enjoyed this year of “new beginnings”)
Our Teaching Leader continued to share that, “God honors our obedience...His blessings are out of the world.” Oh, yes they are! What peace comes from obedience in Him, what joy there is in knowing we are walking in His ways, what rest comes from trusting in Him with ALL the details of our lives.
That day in January, we were also encouraged from Ex 38:21 to be “diligent in tracking our resources for God, just as we are diligent in our personal resources." For the first time in our marriage history, Rob and I are committed to tithing our 10%. We are committed to give cheerfully and thankfully from all that God has given us.
We closed successfully on our home on Jan 23rd. We are now living with my mother in law as we prayerfully move forward in house hunting. As we step into this next portion of God's Plan, and ultimate deliverance, we can be encouraged by the journey and how evident His hand has been in all events. One of the next steps involves my mother in law. She goes in for surgery on Feb 12th for repair of a hernia, as well as the removal of a tumor. God's Plan was to have His timetable be such that we could all be living under one roof together so that we could come alongside her as she recuperates and faces the future of whatever the prognosis of this surgery reveals (ie results from pathology on the tumor). God knew we would need one another, and He placed us all right where we needed to be at this crucial time in life. Not to mention, upon enrolling our daughter into school, my responsibilities are lifted so that I can serve God's purpose with this Divine Entrustment He has given me in caring for my mother-in-law during this time. Pray for us as we begin this new journey and to God be the Glory in & through it all!

Epiphanies (and ABBA music playing in my head!)

2008-07-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

"Mama Mia" inspired us to dress up and dance!

"You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delvers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all."
Psalm 34:17-19

Who knew that God could use a Hollywood movie to shine some light on life? Well, I sure know that now! I had the wonderful pleasure of going to see the movie, "Mamma Mia" with my sister during my recent visit to Lubbock. And, well, simply put...it is one of the silliest and most fantastic movies I've seen in quite a while (not to mention fantastic music throughout, whether or not all the actors/actresses could hit all their notes!). The lesson I heard throughout the movie, and that God wanted me to be reminded of and to hear, was quite simple...to not take life so seriously. Have fun, embrace this gift of life He has given us, enjoy, laugh, relish in Him, and live this gift of life to the absolute fullest we can. Now, I know...those aren't all clear, concise, resounding themes throughout the movie, however, it was the underlying theme that rang out clear to me, and encouraged my heart to soar.

See, with my current study of the Psalms (and plenty of time spent face-down before our loving Lord), I have come to understand some certain Truths that have been so difficult for me to grasp & understand. For instance, in light of our family's current trials, how can I rise above the sour circumstances and claim joy? How does a Christian do this? How is it possible to shine His light when you are so disappointed, grief stricken, and/or unclear as to where the Lord is leading/what He is doing/why things are happening the way they are? In Psalm 34:17-19, we find our promise...and it resounds in many of the other Psalms, as well. He is above all circumstances. He is in control. He is good to us. He hems us in and protects us. We may have to endure much in this fallen world, and fallen society, but He is there....waiting to refine & grow us for the Kingdom He ultimately has for us.
Beth Moore writes (in her Psalms of Ascents study), "God's delivering us from every ounce of trial will never develop the relationship that occurs when He shows Himself faithful right in the midst of difficulty, delivering us through it. That's where we come to know Him, to love Him, to appreciate Him."
Such truth in those words! Upon reading these words, I am reminded of the single common thread that has been the underlying theme to my life this past year & a half upon moving to Texas (and thus embarking on this "season of trials")...to truly learn how to PRAISE Him.
Where have I learned to turn in times of trouble, brokenness, pain, as well as, joy, thankfulness, and gratitude? Where will my help come from?
"My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not allow my foot to slip, Your Protector will not slumber." Psalm 121:2-3
Yes, life has been difficult. Yes, I have cried buckets of tears. But, never have I been closer to Him, felt Him refining me so deeply, holding & carrying me, and allowing Him such sweet control & surrender of my mind, body, heart, & soul. He is doing great things...He is doing great things indeed.
So, rest assured that this "Dancing Queen" is discovering how to allow Him complete control, which then encourages me to focus on Him only & rise above circumstances. Through Him, I can embrace this life He has gifted me with, sing praises and thanksgiving to Him all the day long!
Let us all strive to embrace this life He has given, live it fully & joyfully to Him, and praise His good & worthy name forevermore!
You, too, can be a "Dancing Queen!"

Finding Encouragement through Disappointment

2008-07-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth; it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace...." Isaiah 55:8-12

This has been the most significant disappointment that I have encountered in a long while, and I struggle hourly to remain above the disappointment, anxiety, fears, & tears. Things are easier as we venture from the home to different places, however as soon as we return home, the storm clouds settle again into my heart and soul. Yes, it's hard on me, but it is also hard on the family, especially Cameron & Taylor who know enough that something has happened, but don't quite understand the complexities of it all. Or, why mom hasn't been smiling more these past couple of days.
But, the Lord is gracious in His Word. He has continuously led me to the words and promises written by the prophet Isaiah. And, in these words I find comfort. In these words I find guidance. In these words, I see His ultimate purpose, wait & trust patiently in Him, that He is protecting and guiding, and His ultimate plan in all this will be revealed in His time. We are asked to patiently wait, listen, trust, & obey.
A good friend, and ever-so wise woman, recently wrote and shared the following words with me, and they are comforting, encouraging, and hold so much Truth:

"What a mystery to this turn of events is to us, but not to God. It
is so difficult to trust God when we cannot see His Hand. Perhaps His
Hand of protection is raised...Who can know also anything about this
fragile and crazy economy! We just have to trust what we cannot see.
Sometimes our feelings overpower what God may be trying to say. I am
going to pray that you and Rob will be able to hear and perceive what
you do not currently know ("deep calling unto deep"). Stay under the
Word of God. Wait to hear from Him. Do not panic about this. Your
home is beautiful & it will sell at "just the right time." I can
promise you that when you and Rob get to the other side of this (which
you will), you will see that "God was in it all along". We will be
praising Him for His infinite wisdom!!! Everything is OK! Just wait
and see. "

All I can say is, thank heavens we are headed to the beach at the end of the week! Youth ministry and Fun in the Son saves the day again! Oh, how I cannot wait to be on the beach, be with others, worshipping and praising our precious Lord & Savior, and encouraging others in their walk with Christ.

Lord, may your Spirit fill my heart and soul throughout today so that I can shine YOU. Your strength and not my own...

Setbacks

2008-07-03T12:39:00.000-07:00

"Hear, O Lord, my righteous plea; listen to my cry...I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer. Show the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings..."
Psalm 17:1,6-8

It is with great sadness that I write this post. The contract has fallen through on our current home, and as of right now, we are not moving and everything is stalled as we move back to where we started, and that is to have the house be back on the market.
We found out late last night that the buyers of our home dropped the contract, yet we still have no reasoning as to why. Yes it was past the option period, and yes, things like this aren't supposed to happen. So, we have decisions to make, emotions to grapple with, and a house to get back together for show/sell mode. Yes, we are heart-broken. And, yes, we are currently baffled by this turn of events. Maybe it's God's protective Hand...maybe it's a test of continued faith & perseverence...whatever it is, we are left baffled & heart-broken by this turn of events.
We are hopeful that our realtor will make contact with the buyer's agent today (so far, his calls have not been answered) and have some of our questions resolved. Until then, we move forward to ready our home "For Sale" once again. Pleasejoin us in prayer for the owners of the home we were going to buy...I know they are in the same predicament we are and their hearts are broken today too (as we had to w/draw our contract). Truly, our God is faithful & His will & plan perseveres.
Pray also for Rob and I as we (hopefully) discuss things tonight. I say hopefully, b/c I am unaware of his schedule. He just returned from Mexico late last night, and then went right into work as of this morning. I am hoping we can find some time tonight to pray, process, and sort through some of this muddle. Pray for guidance, as the path we thought was so clear, has officially become dark & gloomy. His hand is there, guiding and directing, we simply need ears to hear, faith to move, and trust to persevere through this storm.
And, please pray for my heart...it is broken in a thousand different pieces. I am finding solace in the Psalms (16 & 17 to be exact)....but clarity and answers to the baffling situation would be a blessing from Above.

Making Sacrifices

2008-06-30T18:54:00.000-07:00

We're having to say good-bye...and having to let go. God has asked us to make some sacrifices, and our home is one of the top things that we are being asked to let go of. It's necessary, and I know it is a blessed thing, as I've experienced God's peace throughout this entire journey. However, my own humanness makes it still hard, as I grieve some of the material things (ammenities in our home) that I am being asked to sacrifice. But, I long for being in His will & living for Him in all I do, and for this sense of peace and joy, I let go of our home graciously and gladly.
You see, as I've mentioned, this entire move revolves around God asking us to make some sacrifices. Basically, He has asked us to do so in order we can bring more glory to Him with our finances. It has involved months of prayer, beginning initially with Rob coming to me several months ago saying that his heart was uneasy about not being in God's will with our home. We have had many financial difficulties, and basically, life has hit us hard this last year & a half with the extra financial strain/drain that a more expensive home can bring (upscale homes can be quite needy!). It has been needy in that it didn't have updated major appliances (meaning heating & A/C, water heaters, etc), which it now does. Don't get me wrong, there have been many blessings along the way, and God has definitely cared for us. However, things have also been very difficult. We just haven't found our financial footing since moving back to Texas from Virginia, & we definitely haven't been glorifying God with our finances (meaning tithing has taken a backseat to life's agenda, home stressors, and medical emergencies). Anyway....it was this past April (during our church's Women's Retreat) that God really got a hold of my heart and brought me to a point to lay it all down and realize that sacrifice is what He was indeed teaching us (or me...b/c yes, I love our home and it's many wonderful ammenities...don't even ask me how difficult it is going to be to let go of the pantry I can twirl around in!). So, our current goal is to reduce our mortgage so that we can live more w/in margin & that we can give to our church, family & others that which we feel called to give, glorifying Him through it all.
Within all this, a move will also allow us to get our daughter, Cameron, into the elementary school that we prefer. It hasn't been the driving force by any means, but ended up being one of the blessings that has come from the decision we made. The school we are zoned for simply doesn't have the strength in leadership and resources that the move into this new district will give us.
All that said, after a trying couple of months (between April & end of May) working hard to get our house on the market (we had several set backs, including a flooded guest bedroom and have to add new flooring!), we finally got it on the market just before the girls and I left for a mission trip to San Antonio the beginning of June. Saturday, June 7th, to be exact. The rest of the story, thus far, is that our house SOLD by Wednesday, June 11th!! So, even in this market and these times, God's timing was to have it sold in FIVE days, complete with the sale being right at our asking price! He is bigger than the housing market, He is faithful, and yes, He is amazing! This is certainly something we already knew, yet I continue to be in awe that He felt inclined to ultimately show us how He was in complete control of this step of faith & obedience from us in selling our home. Yes, all this happened during the same morning, on the mission trip, that I was dealing with having my car window replaced after a break-in to it! Needless to say, it was a crazy day! All in all, we are certainly excited to be in the home He has picked out for us. We are looking forward to moving into a home that is two doors down from my mother-in-law, in the school zone we desired, and a lower mortgage payment with the ability to pay off our home in 15 years vs. 30 years! To God be the glory!!
As long as all goes well, we will close on our old & new homes July 15th. We would certainly appreciate your prayers for continued smooth transition, strength for packing, and then endurance for unpacking. Thank you, whoever is reading, for your prayers & support! God is good and to HIM be the glory!
And, be forewarned, there may be some saddened blog entries as I endure letting go of this place we have called home for the last year & a half. A girl just has to have a place to unwind and let go.

2008-01-28T11:00:00.000-08:00

Make a slideshow - it's easy!

2007 In Review!

2007-12-28T22:06:00.000-08:00

Make a scrapbook - it's easy!

Deliverance from Evil

2007-04-18T14:18:00.000-07:00

"This is what the Lord says:

'Stand at the crosswroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls."

Jeremiah 6:16

There simply is no understanding evil. Especially the evil that befell the campus of Virginia Tech on Monday morning, April 16th. But, what we can and should be striving to understand (and asking of ourselves as Christians) is love and how we can extend it to others in light of this tragedy. We, as believers, must love others, and live as Christ. Now is the time to be sharing our AGAPE love with one another We must remember that agape love is that deep, unselfish affection for another person that is only possible with God's Spirit living & dwelling within us. It is the love that Christ extended to us, and it goes out to our enemies, as well as our friends. Yes, the tragedies that befell many students on Tech campus on Monday were not an act of love. But, we as Christians, are called to respond in love. Our lives must exhibit the fragrant aroma of Christ, encouraging others to draw near to Him through our example and outpouring of love from Him. It is through our own journey of drawing near to the Lord, grieving with Him, and allowing Him to heal us that He can be at work through us as we shower love on the many people He brings into our lives to comfort, support, & minister during the aftermath of this tragedy. I know those reading this and that call themselves Christians are not below rising to this challenge. And, I also know that, in rising to this challenge, we will all find personal comfort, healing, and growth. It's awesome to think how, because of Christ's love, every Christian we know (including yourself) can be a person of influence, even in the midst of this difficult and discouraging circumstance. We must remember His love for us, in light of all this evil, and hold fast to the good that will truly come out of it (Romans 8:28), even though it is difficult to fathom at the moment.
In Romans 13:11-12, the verses remind us how this present evil age is ALMOST over. We can hold fast to the hope that Jesus is returning and all evil will be put to rest...evil on earth will be conquered! Our time of deliverance is near & our greatest motivation to live as Christ on earth should be wrapped and centered around the joy of NOT knowing about the time of His return (or our own day of death). Luke 21:25-38 shares signs of the nearing of His return. We should not be fearful of His return, but truly excited...evil will be cast out and love will reign. Jesus will conquer it once & for all and we will all live in peace! And, that time is near. I honestly never think of it necessarily happening in MY lifetime, but it is exciting to think that it seriously COULD! Do you see how, in understanding this present time, we must do all that we can to live faithfully for God, abiding and applying His truth and Word actively in our lives, in order to continue conquering evil and bringing others to Him so that we can all ultimately rest in the promise of His return & eternal life? Nothing conquers evil more than kindness and love. Nothing. There is no greater act of love than to shatter another's darkness with the light of Christ.
I encourage all that find themselves touched by Monday's act of violence to clothe yourselves in the armor of God (from Ephesians 6:10-13). Wear His armor...seek His guidance....look to the Word...follow the roadmap He gives us within the pages of His divinely inspired book. Be one of God's instruments who will equip him/herself with what is needed to step into the light and share God's love with you meet and cross paths with. Allow God's Spirit to flow from you and flow into others.
And, ultimately...find healing.

Prayers are being lifted heavenward daily for all touched by the tragedy on Virginia Tech campus Monday morning.

Sanctify Me

2007-03-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what Do's will is--his good, pleasing, & perfect will."
-Romans 12:1-2

As I sit here, preparing to type, my prayer to the Lord is for a transformed mind. I strive for my mind to be continually renewed and my heart & focus forever on Him.
The in-depth studying of Romans 12:1-2 has been significant for me. And, I'm still trying to wrap my mind & heart around all that God is revealing to me.
One thing is for certain...I take for granted, daily, the gift He has given me through His son, Jesus Christ. Forgive me, Lord, for how I struggle in accepting and comprehending the depths of Your kind of love. Yet, He graciously continues to open my mind & heart to His amazing love and meet me where I am, encouraging me to take a step deeper, closer, and more intimately with Him. Asking me to trust Him with more of myself, more of my life. Afterall, isn't God's mercy to us undeserving believers the only motivation needed for living a life of submission & service?
Trust and contentment in Him have been the theme of my learnings upon moving to Texas from Virginia. It's been a difficult journey, and one that isn't complete yet! Oh, but how I wish it were complete! I'm ready for the next chapter! :)
But, I must be a slower learner, because here I am...still learning the depths of trust & contentment. One promise I have loved learning is wrapped up in God's will. His "good, pleasing, & perfect will."
I'm still not certain how all of what I have learned applies to my discernment for the future. However, that is why I am writing...with the hopes for some clarity.
What I have learned of God's will is this:

Our faithful obedience to serve God and pursue His truth will reveal the goodness of His plan for our lives.
His "good" will is equavilent to having OUR best interest in mind.
His "pleasing" will is equivalent to the "proper" fit (like the most comfy pair of jeans I own)
His "perfect" will is absolutely complete

In allowing His truth to soak in & transform us, His plan and will is revealed to us. The key is spending time with Him, seeking Him, and being still in Him (Psalm 46)...letting all the lies we tend to believe that are of the world filter through and fall away from absolute Truth...God's Word.
Yes, I'm grappling with whether or not I fill out teaching applications for the fall. Is my pursuit of a teaching position solely because I see the dire financial need? If it rests on that, then I am not trusting the Lord and I am taking the reigns back into my own hands.
Or, am I feeling the nudges from the Spirit to pursue a teaching position? Is this the next step in the journey? Is this one of my purposes? Is this the calling God now has for me, in addition to motherhood?
I'm scared to say no, it isn't. There is a great deal of security to be had/found in pursuing a teaching position. It would mean, that in spite of our house in Virginia selling/not selling, we would be OK finanicially. Isn't this the responsible thing to do? There is security in being responsible. There is security in doing what seems to be the logical, next step.
But, what about my committment to family? What about my committment to stay home with the girls until I felt called out of the home? Am I being called, or am I responding to responsibilities?
And, is God's hand strong enough to hold me in all of this?
Of course He is...we know that...I know that...but, do I REALLY? In my head, yes...but in my heart...to know it enough to put it into action?
Leads me right back to the beginning of my writings and how I take for granted His love and gift to me. How I doubt that He truly is the All in All and that He will be there for EVERY need.
Even when He has given so much. Maybe all I need to do right now is rest in this Truth.
Oh, to know what He his plans are for me! To know what He has in store for me!
That is the question!

More Wiggle Racer Fanatics!

2007-03-22T12:40:00.000-07:00

Shana and the girls were on the Wiggle Racer quicker than they could change out of their rain-soaked clothes!

Who's been WIGGLIN'?

2007-02-18T14:39:00.000-08:00

Big Poppa Rob has!

Grandma Linda has! Kathleen has! Stacy has!

Laura & the girls have!

Uncle Scott has!

Anyone else up for the race???

Keep checkin' back to find out! :)

Blessed be the Man...

2007-02-18T13:47:00.000-08:00

"Cursed is the man who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands, he will not see prosperity when it comes. he will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives."

-Jeremiah 17:5-6

Oh how I desperately never wish to become this above person. How I desperately cling to the Lord during these difficult times and place my trust in Him, and Him alone. Oh, but it is so easy to cling to my own anxieties, fears, and the realities of how destitute we are, as well as how disturbing/scary life can often-times be. How I pray that our Lord will free me from clinging to these false idols, & focusing on these false realities. I long to see past our own personal financial strain & distress to His prosperity. I long to be a woman who sees His blessings & not these obvious & blatant hardships/misgivings. I long to be a person who exhibits complete and utter trust in Him. Am I? Can anyone share the truth....am I?

"Blessed be the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out it's roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, it's leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

-Jeremiah 17:7-8

Oh I pray that I could attain the joy of being a person who does not fear the heat (aka financial strain currently in our lives, as well as the realization of the financial securities I am guilty of holding onto that are steadily being stripped away). I pray for His strength & loving comfort to replace my fear. I pray for guidance...and ultimately that my leaves may stay green through all of thisl. Oh, Lord, be with my spirit and forgive any & all of my anxieties. I release all to You, and You alone.

Amen

2007-01-06T14:58:00.000-08:00

My "TRIPOD" friend is coming to visit in THREE days!!
YEEEE-HAWWW!!! :)

2006-12-19T18:04:00.000-08:00

We had our first visit from a Virginian loved one & friend! Jeremy (aka Jeremy Jumps if you are talking with Cameron or Taylor!) flew down from Virginia to take in a massive road-trip of Texas and to visit friends he has made through Young Life camps and staff. It was an amazing visit, one in which Rob was able to break out his guitar for the first time since leaving VA! Ok, he played for the girls once, but it has been a couple of months since he was able to strum and play alongside a friend. It was awesome hearing the guitar in our home again (now we just gotta get it into our new church! ha ha!). The best part of the visit was hearing how God has been at work in Jeremy's life, how he is looking at some Texas universities, and the thought of actually transferring next fall. He is feeling called to Texas and is prayerfully considering where God may be leading him. It's exciting to think about having a Virginian friend so close and it was such a joy to spend some time together catching up with one another and sharing our new church & home with him (as well as some good Tex Mex! Well, decent Tex Mex, we went to this particular location soley b/c of the Christmas decorations and the train! Just ask Jeremy about it!) Seeing Jeremy, however, did spark emotion in me over how much I miss beloved friends. It's just such a bittersweet time in life right now...

O Christmas Tree!

2006-12-15T10:18:00.000-08:00

Although the threat was that we had to be out of boxes before getting a tree, Rob & Cameron surprised me by bringing home a BEAUTIFUL fir tree Thursday, December 14th!

And if you look closely, we even have our first presents under the tree!!
Merry Christmas!

Enlightened Heart

2006-12-15T07:50:00.000-08:00

"Submit yourselves then, to God... Come near to God and he will come near to you." James 4:7-8

My all time favorite scripture. There is such comfort in these words. Whenever we draw near to God, we can hold fast to the promise that He is right there with us, drawing near to us. Like a shepherd holding fast to one of his lambs, maybe even a lost lamb that he has just found. God holds us, carries us, and embraces us.
To say that I am experiencing this is simply amazing. It is truly an experience and a truth I long to hold onto for the remainder of my life. Last Sunday it became clear to me how God was holding me, carrying me through this unique time in life.
Moving here to Texas has been bittersweet and difficult. I had prayed for 3 years for this day, and it was a prayer answered when we received the news that we were moving back to our "home" land. Closer to family and dear friends, as well as the "big city." Indeed, coming home to Texas was a true desire of my heart, even though I put all other options first before God. What I mean to say is that, I understand God has sovereign will over my life and where He ultimately wills, I will go. He has my best interest at heart...He knows the Big Plan and how He desires for my little life to fit into it. So, I obediently, and willingly, submit to Him. What a joy to know that Texas was in His scope & plan for us again, granting the desires of my heart that our girls know their extended family more intimately & personally.
However, transition is difficult. As excited as I was, and am, to be back in Texas, it is hard to let go. And, I knew it would be. Our roots ran deep in Virginia and we had settled in rather nicely. God had blessed us with incredible friends. He had blessed us with the opportunity to live in the beautiful Shenandoah Valley. We experienced seasons for the first time! The girls were introduced and lived around snow...something they desperately miss here in Texas (although, it has already snowed! I shared with Cameron how it was snowing JUST for her! It was such a tremendously wonderful gift from God!). At the root of it all, though, was God, His faithfulness, and the provisions of His church. He blessed us with an amazing church, and more importantly, church family. Although there were definite periods of distress during our six years in Harrisonburg, it was a season of growth for all of us. It has been hard to say good-bye.
The enlightened heart came last Sunday as I realized how full my heart was, and how it was OK to have a full heart. In that full heart rested God, and the sense of peace He provides through His Spirit when His people listen and are in accordance with His will. It is a wondrous experience. I truly feel Him holding me.
As I sat in our new church enjoying the Christmas story in song and spoken scripture, I realized that it is better to have a tender& full heart than anything else...it means that God is right there with me. He is close, and I feel Him. I continue to reach out to Him, asking Him to show me the way. I am curious what He has in store for me here in Texas, within our new church. I sense He is calling me to teach (scary!), but in what capacity? Only time will tell, and only through prayer and drawing near to Him will I come to see His vision and His ultimate will.
Lord, I am so grateful for your provision, for your love, and for this incredible gift of salvation and mercy that you sent to us through the birth of your son, Jesus. Oh how I love Thee!!!

December 14

2006-12-14T20:11:00.000-08:00

Life is overwhelming. I play Christmas music constantly in order to try and keep my attitude in the right "spirit." Boxes are everywhere, my life is in chaos, yet there is so much to be thankful for. Did I mention that I started my day hunting for my camera AND my car keys? Normal stuff, you say. Well, let me tell you where I found my camera. LAST NIGHT I knew exactly where my camera was, and where to go get it when time to leave for my daughter's preschool Christmas party the next morning. However, by this morning, when I was looking for it, surprise...it wasn't in that spot. I looked for it for a while, only to not find it and realize that I needed to truly be looking for my now lost CAR keys. All this, and the time to be at grandma's house had approached. Oops.
Well, in searching for my keys, take a guess what I run across?? Yep, you guessed it...I ran across my camera. Where was it, you ask?
Well, it was wrapped up nicely and placed in a gift bag...just like someone was pretending to give it as a Christmas present. Did I mention I have a two year old and a four year old? Yep, they are the adorable culprits this time. One of them must have found my camera, decided to wrap it up in a shirt, and place it into a gift bag, all in time for Christmas! :) Yes, I did laugh.
As for my keys, I was able to retrace my steps from the night before and find those, too. After rearranging my plans, we made it to the preschool Christmas party just in time to witness my daughter's class going door-to-door asking individuals if there was "room at the inn." Upon finding their teacher and their classroom, they found "room at the inn." And, what a fantastic celebration of Jesus' birthday was to be had! We had quite a delicious chocolate cake in celebration of His birth! Yum!
Pictures to come....and of our tree....Rob brought one home even when we aren't out of boxes yet! YYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!