All Is Confirmed: He says "Go"
Just like that, in spite of the doubts I had been having, God continues to delight me in being present in the details of my life & offering confirmation: "Go, I am sending thee" (further answering my prayer from Isaiah 6:8 & His Word that I have been lifting back to Him).
I have personally been praying since Oct, '15 over the extended invitation to go with a group from our church to Cameroon, Africa in March/April of 2016. We will be working with & through the ministry organization KidZ at Heart (http://www.kidzatheart.org/)
to educate, equip, and nurture children's ministry leaders in & around the area of Fundong & Belo, Cameroon. We will specifically be teaching & training at an orphanage in Fundong itself. This is an exciting opportunity to use my education, teaching, & training skills, as well as step outside of many of my own comfort zone(s) to reach a people-group in Africa that I have limited experience of and with. To say that I am humbled, as well as filled with trepidation by this extended invitation, sums up my emotions mildly. This invitation is truly encouraging me to put my faith in action in a myriad of ways. However, when other pieces of the trip began falling into place, I realized that God had been preparing me for a long while & I needed to focus in on Him & truly listen.
Did I mention that this will be a mother/daughter opportunity for missions? Yes, Cameron was originally the one extended a return invite for being a part of this Cameroon opportunity (remember, she traveled to Cameroon in Jan/Feb of 2015 with Rob and others). However, since the trip will fall over Easter, Rob obviously would not be able to accompany her. As we continued to pray & plan, the realization that this trip would also be over Cameron's Spring Break made us keenly aware that God could possibly be opening a door to continue to raise our child in an environment of service & missions to others. Afterall, this has been a desire of our hearts in raising our family...that each of our girls would know the gift that comes from serving others, as well as the joy that stems from growing a servant's heart. What once seemed like a "once in a lifetime" opportunity was now becoming apparent as an opportunity to continue shepherding and fostering our oldest's heart for missions & service to others was becoming a reality. What a joy to continue to expand her perspective, spiritual-growth, world-view, and global horizons! 
With that piece falling into place, next came another significant piece that spoke loudly to my heart in confirmation that God was indeed orchestrating this mission opportunity to Africa. For years, God has been preparing me for educating & opening the door of communication for young girls to discover the joy & wonder of how our loving God has created them. I had always envisioned mother/daughter workshops within the church-body as possibilities for encouraging the communication of such a personal (& often difficult) topic in a safe, beloved atmosphere. While this may still remain an option for the future, the opportunity for such an event has never come to fruition. When invited to be a part of a teaching team at an orphanage, where children would very well be present (as it is also THEIR Spring Break), it began to dawn on me that God might have a different purpose & plan for all the collecting of resources & the seed of passion He had planted in my heart all those years ago. Once again, I was on my knees praying over the opportunity. Then came the introduction to Days for Girls (www.daysforgirls.org). Here was a non-profit organization already formed to fit the need and provide opportunity for health education in Fundong, if I/we were simply willing to pray, plan, & prepare. Would Cameron be willing to join her mom on this endeavor to provide health education & feminine hygiene kits? Fear gripped at me, however, in looking to the example of Daniel (from the
Old Testament), God spoke on what it was like to overcome fear with faith in God. Thus, I too was (once again) encouraged to take a step forward and boldy replace fear with faith. I shared my vision with Cameron, as well as how the need for quality health
education for young girls is of magnificent proportion. I shared with her how the effects
of our own personal development as women directly effects a young girls' ability to receive an uninterrupted and quality education.
Thus, the chain of poverty continues to hold it's evil grasp on their
lives. In sharing with her how this need for education is exactly where God has (for years) captured my
attention, my focus, and my heart, she clearly saw what a beautiful opportunity it would be to
share with each young girl (many she could personally envision from her trip in '15) how they are fearfully & wonderfully made
(Psalm 139:13-14) by our loving and gracious Creator. Another piece had fallen in place: my daughter was willing to come along-side and boldly be a part of sharing about health education and making/donating feminine hygiene kits with me! At the mere age of 13 years, I truly find that to be a work of God's hand!
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| Revelation 4:1-2, 6-7a, 8a
Fellow BSF leader's artist son's depiction of the first beast
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Lastly comes further confirmation from God's Word & God's people. I have had the privilege and joy to be studying God's Word as found in Revelation since September of 2015. Oh how my eyes and heart have been opened and transformed already! The cry of my heart is for God to continue to transform me to be more like Him, and for my eyes to be opened to His ways. How I pray to be moved further away from my own selfishness to an attitude of selflessness. It's truly an act of dying to self, daily. I also yearn to know our Lord Jesus Christ more deeply and more intimately. This is yet another cry of my heart. Oh how He has patiently, sweetly, and boldly been answering these prayers through the power of His Word in Revelation.
As I mentioned, fears do plague me, and my struggle with them is very real. I fear the world, the chaos, & violence it finds itself wrapped up in. I fear the threat on my very life, as well as the life of my daughter & those I travel with. I fear the unknown and what a culture I have never experienced will be like. I fear being moved to tears and hurting deeply for all that I am seeing/experiencing/beholding as I embark on this trip to Africa. I fear the words that family & friends have to share, as well as the fear that is readily evident in those shared words (but which I also know stem from the deep love they have for us).
How am I navigating through these fears? I am taking them to the Lord. I am reading/studying/hearing His Word and I am taking it to heart all He has to say. I praise Him for His promises. I praise Him for the security I find in Him. I praise Him for Jesus and how through Him, I am sealed. God is my eternal security system for the present and for the future (thank you sweet BSF teaching leader). I trust that He protects me through & until I fulfill His purpose and calling. I trust that He alone knows when my calling is fulfilled. Through this knowledge and faith, I am blessed with freedom from fear and the courage to step out in faith for Him and in Him. I can trust in His Care as found in His Word in Matthew 10:28-31:
"Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."
With this promise, I can faithfully take a step forward away from fear, and with eyes focused firmly on Him, I can trust that He is calling, He is leading, He is equipping, and He has a purpose for me in Africa (& beyond). My job is to heed His call, sit at His feet, worship, praise, listen, and most importantly....obey.
Praise you Lord for where you are guiding my steps. Amen
PS: As of this writing, yet another confirmation has graciously unfolded through His provision. Cameron and I are over half-funded for our trip...only by God's grace & His moving in the faithful hearts of His fellow servants! Thank you, Lord!
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| God knows all things! Testimony to His preparation thru the years: Cameroon attire gifted to me from our precious Cameroon flock at First Presbyterian Church in Arlington, Tx in 2013. I already have something culturally appropriate to wear! |
